DnD, a lifelong obsession with growing as a person.

           When I was a wee lad, I like most of the other kids I knew, liked to play pretend. We would pretend we were any number of things that adults would find no sense in, and we pretended to be the fictional representations we saw on television*. Pretend was kind of like the the childhood equivalent of Augmented Reality tech, in that I could overlay my imagination on the real world and see it functionally as real. In some ways it was a form of escapism. And the value in what I was doing was completely lost on my at that time, partially because it was still used as escapism. My brain was too busy being immersed in the fantasy to be able to discern or manipulate its real value to my development.
          As happens with most children, pretend mostly fell away as a prime source of entertainment**. Its hard to make friends in the first place, and harder to keep them if you're still wanting to play "Power Rangers" in the backyard with driftwood swords.*** An alternative but structured form of pretend presented itself when I was in my freshman year of high school: DnD.  There was a group of friends who had a long standing campaign which I was not permitted to join, but was on occasion permitted to observe, which partially informs me as a player today. But I found another group that played out of one of the game shops in town and the DM agreed to let me in on a provisional basis. I played a Cleric of Tymora. And my playing of that character would serve as the proto version of my style of play many years later. But I think that every TTRPG player goes through certain stages of learning to be a good player, one of which being my least favorite stages: The Power Gamer
          When I was introduced to DnD, there were a lot of rules to learn and I needed help often, so as a function of not having a lot of the basics as second nature, I focused on the role play of the character rather than the game mechanics. Again, this was not so much a deliberate choice for me as a necessary way to play the game without being overwhelmed. But after that character I played several others and started picking up the mechanics a little better and started creating characters that worked well. A little too well. My characters always had the best stats I could get(You'd never catch a character of mine with ANY stat below a 12). And I rigidly played according to my class mechanics. I avoided deep role playing scenarios and god forbid you ask me to actually role play an diplomacy or bluff check. I was there to be the best character and cared very little about what other players or even the DM had to say about what my character did. It would be a reasonable guess that I got ejected from at least one game, and after a while I stopped playing for some time.
          Needless to say I eventually picked the dice back up and jumped in on a game group of relatives and close friends that I have continued with to this day. The game was Pathfinder, a natural continuation of the DnD 3.5 roots I had last played in, and the important thing was that the group was easygoing , big on humor, and vague on rules. Everything was done in the interest of story and group enjoyment. There was probably more laughter with my current group than I ever expected from that first one. I still played with some of the flaws I carried from my previous experience. I played OP characters, I argued with our revolving DMs a little too much, but I also played up the humor and slowly let my power gaming traits die. 
          Fast forward to 2017****. I've moved to Seattle, still play occasionally with my group online, but the sessions wane, and I still feel like there's something missing from my TTRPG experience. I go to PAX Prime. I sit front row for Acquisitions Incorporated, something I have only ever heard about in name only, and otherwise possess no knowledge. And my life changes in a big way because I've never seen roleplaying like this. Soon after, I start into Acq Inc: The C Team, and the realizations get more profound, which is where this lengthy blog prologue is leading:

          TTRPGs, done well, can be one of the best tools we have to help people develop social skills, empathy, and emotional intelligence, not to mention the skills it develops in negotiation, storytelling, and values. And the best players and DMs are people who actively look to develop those skills in themselves and others through the role playing. And if I were looking for a masterclass in what peak DnD looks like, it would, hands down, be Aquisitions Incorporated: The C Team.

          First, to clarify and avoid "MercerEffect", This isn't about the tone or content of the C Team, its about what each of the members portrays that helps make an emotionally fulfilling, and enjoyable experience. I'm using the members as categories to define the positive and different traits that make TTRPGs useful as a tool of personal growth

Jerry Holkins: Ok, first I'll get it out of the way: Jerry Holkins is probably my favorite DM, if not my favorite pseudocelebrity in general.(Sorry Chris Perkins, you're so very very good, but as Jerry says, its a #bettershow). As a DM, Jerry never feels like he is at odds with his players. Never once in the course of the show has Jerry shown real contempt for what the characters do to fuck with his game. He enjoys it all, because ultimately the game is arbitrated by the DM, but is almost entirely for the benefit and enjoyment of the players and, in the case of recorded games, the viewers. Jerry has on many occasions not only relinquished control of the game to his players, but smiled and folded his arms when he did it, which, to me, is Peak DM.

Kate Welch: It would genuinely not surprise me if at some point, Jerry and Kate swapped seats for a session and let Kate run things. She is, out of the 4 players, the one who spends the most time, as a player and a character, focusing on whats going on with the other characters(and Coriander*****). She is also obsessively detail oriented as a player, which I think has proved incredibly useful to the game on countless occasions. Kate is also willing to break, or at least bend certain taboos about TTRPGs ways that enhance the story(I'm looking at you, Pat Rothfuss and your Chandelier texts.) 

Amy Falcone: Sorry, WHO'S AMY? I think like her Druid class suggests, Walnut and the way Amy plays her feels like its a very natural shift. The lines between Amy and Walnut are very thin when watching the show and it speaks to a progressive level of emotional vulnerability that was absolutely not accessible in the groups that I played with when I started out. (My groups were all male until after high school and there would would none of that emotional business.) Her continuing storyline with Brahma is also an incredible showcase of role playing prowess both by her and Jerry. Its sometimes strange to be watching the show and seeing Jerry speaking as Brahma to Amy as Walnut, but the fantasy is well built enough that in the theater of the mind it is clearly Walnut and Brahma, actual people. 

Kris Straub: If you put pointy ears on Kris Straub and painted him blue(which has been done many times) you would have K'thriss Drow'b. Obiously I'm speaking in generalization since I don't know him personally, but it has been suggested by Jerry and the others that the lines separating the player and character are barely visible, both visually and expressively. His character style also represents what is now one of my favorite kinds of players when I DM, which is the character who is 100% role play all the time, and has no animosity towards anyone in game, to the point of being ludicrous. I often hope for my players to come across horrifying creatures in game and to open dialogue with phrases like "Friend, hello."

Ryan Hartman: Honestly, I was saving my favorite for last. Ryan Hartman as Donaar represents not just one of the most well balanced players in terms of characterization, but also in terms of how the rest of the players and DM can help someone new to TTRPGs grow into a seasoned and well versed player. Its pretty clear that Donaar carries some of Ryan's personality in him, but I've been consistently impressed with how Ryan has been able to draw up some very intense emotional states, but keep it as Donaar and not actually start venting those emotions as a player. Nearly leaving the team felt like the new peak for that, and a telling insight into this character who started off seeming like just a boorish man-baby. It particularly impresses me that Ryan often describes that Donaar is still basically a man-baby, and provides the emotional content therein. If Peak DM is allowing your players to take over the game and feeling confident about it, then, for me, Peak Player is about having the emotional intelligence to portray someone with less developed emotions than you, but still portraying it in an emotionally compelling way. My favorite author Terry Pratchett wrote:

“Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.
Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.”

          TTRPGs are great at helping people develop their social skills, and at the peak of skill, is one of the best forms of spectator entertainment I've seen in a long time. 

          Also, Please check out the Critical Core kickstarter, which is a TTRPG designed specifically to help people with Autism and other neurodivergent conditions develop social skills. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/gametogrow/critical-core

 
-Will

-Editors Notes:

*Power Rangers, Digimon; You know, whatever played on Saturday mornings.
**There was a brief foray into those old yahoo RP chatrooms. It was an unpleasant experience.
*** Cause Will has SO many friends now that he just plays with swords in his head
**** Would you just get to the point already? Editing this post is eating away my life.
*****  Now Barely a horse once more