20 ways to explain a mundane activity badly

          This is a list of things we do every day. See how many of these regular activities you can identify based on the questionable descriptions below. Warning, some of them are very risque'.

1. Lay back and let a stranger explore your mouth, sometimes drawing blood.
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2. Wander aimlessly in a sea of green until a local helps you find growth.
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3. Indirectly arrange and direct electrons until you make sharp, joyful breaths.
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4. Swing with a partner until you cant get it up anymore.
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5. Send a relative to the best sauna available.
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6. Sad musical chairs.
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7. Give your noble steed a proctology exam
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8. Go to a strangers house and have a nap.
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9. (with number 8)Tell everyone your opinion of the people you never met after you leave.
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10. Call up a stranger and ask them to fix something you don't understand, then be upset because they did and you don't know how (or didn't, but they absolutely should know how.)
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11. Receive a call from a stranger who babbles incoherently at you until they feel better, then hangs up after calling you names. Repeat weekly.*
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12. Citing the french revolution as inspiration, make an example of several million bourgeois blades of grass, ensuring they respect the working class. Repeat monthly.
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13. Make uncomfortably sensual noises while a stranger tenderizes you.
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14. Tell someone your deepest feelings and longings. Wait 1-3 weeks for them to be aware.
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15. Spend 3 weeks learning what not to do. Do anyways
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16. Spend the same 3 weeks learning what to do. Never do any of it, ever.
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17. Call a relative long distance and then pretend to be them when they don't answer.
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18. In the style of the Romans, eat until you physically cannot, throw up, and go back for pie.
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19. The endless torment that stretches out, each moment confirming more than the last that you have passed beyond the veil and are now in a pit of hell, doomed to endless toil, your mind wasting away into complete madness as the ringing of sacrificial bells tolls you closer to oblivion.**
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20. Beach combing for terrible prizes.

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Answers:

1. Going to the dentist
2. Wandering around the Lowe's garden section until someone helps you find fertilizer
3. Watching Youtube videos
4. Doing tandem crunches at the gym
5. Cremation
6. Speed Dating
7. Getting your car an emissions test.
8. Staying at n AirBnB
9. Reviewing your AirBnB
10. Call Tech Support
11. Doing Tech Support
12. Mow the Lawn
13. Get a massage
14. Write a love letter
15. Take a diet and exercise class
16. Take a diet and exercise class
17. Use a Ouija board 
18. Dinner at Grandma's
19. Waiting in line at the DMV
20. Cleaning the litter box.

-Will

Editors Notes:

*WE GET IT, YOU'RE AN IT GUY.

**Nope. Not even going near this. Its a level of his psyche I want nothing to do with.